reads…

If you are feeling stressed about something, and you don’t know where to turn, dont”t let a sense of panic direct your path. Breathe deep. Calm down. Get your bearings. Once you can settle yourself and begin thinking more rationally a solution will become apparent, and you can move forward with confidence. A recent mishap or problem may have caused you to lose confidence in finding lasting happiness in a certain area of your life. But once you can focus on putting one foot in front of the other, and you lose your fear, life will become more beautiful than ever.

I find myself reading this over and over realizing that what I read is spot on. It helps me to know that there is a light at the end of this long dark tunnel and it’s gonna take some hard work and dedication to get where I want to be. I know now that I cant give up on my goals and that this is just a small bump in the road of life.

I really need to get in the habit of posting on here more… I keep saying that I will and then I end up not doing it… Maybe I will get inspired soon…

My first plane ride was awesome. I was full of anxiety the day before and the morning of. I didn’t know what think about going through security or how takeoff, flying and landing would be. I was psyching myself up so bad but I knew that I just had to get it over with. It didn’t help that when I got to the Knoxville airport I had to wait for a half an hour for security to open because I was there so early in the morning.

I’d always hear these horror stories and bad things about going through security but I had no problem. I thought going through security was very easy and smooth. It also helps when your flight is super early and you are one of the first people in line. I was through security in like 5 minutes. All I had to do next was find my gate and wait to get on the plane. The Knoxville airport is super small so it was not very hard to find anything. When I got on the plane my anxiety kicked into overdrive and I knew that I was fixin to do something I had never done before and that I was always a little bit scared of doing.

As the last people were taking their seats I noticed that the seat next to me was empty. When the plane started speeding down the runway my anxiety dissapeared and I knew that my grandfather was watching over me from the seat next to me. (For those who dont know both of my grandfather’s were pilots) Takeoff was my favorite part. Next was turning and then landing wasn’t too bad. Both flights were very smooth and no turbulence at all. I am so glad that my first time on an airplane was enjoyable.

When I got to Orlando my mom and I did some shopping for a dress for my sister’s wedding. After trying on about 30 dresses I found a really pretty black one at Bealls and I decided to put some ribbon through parts of the dress to give it some color. It’s so good to see my family and friends and I’m sure this is gonna be a great vacation.

Thursday morning is creeping up on me faster than I would have imagined. That is when I get on a plane for the first time and fly to Atlanta, GA and then to Orlando, FL all by myself. I am getting super nervous becuase I have never been on a plane before and quite frankly it scares me a bit. I never thought I would have ever gotten on a plane but I decided it would be cheaper and easier on my car if I flew rather than drove. It is a long lonely drive by yourself from Tennessee to Florida. I didn’t want to do that.

I cant wait until I get to Florida. I hope I will have conqured my fear of flying because I will have to get on another plane to come back to Tennessee lol. I have lots of plans for my vacation and I am determined to get it all done. First on Friday I need to get to Ocala. I plan on stopping by my old Wal-Mart store and seeing all the people there. I miss them alot and I wish I could bring them back with me.

Saturday I have a birthday party planned for my neice Jessica. I am hoping that it will turn out as great as I want it to and that lots of people will show up. I wont be able to be there for her actual first birthday so it will be nice to celebrate it with her while I am there. Sunday I have lunch plans with some of my family in Jacksonville. I am making my dad come with me because he needs to visit with his sisters. I hate to see him so detached from his family. I am also hoping to visit Bushnell and go to the Veteren’s Memorial Cemetary to visit my Grandparents. I haven’t been to their gravesite since my Grandfather was buried in 2001.

Then on Monday I am beach bound with 2 of my best friends, my neice Jessica and my nephews Aiden and Trystan. I am praying that the oil spill stays away from the gulf coast so we can have an enjoyable experience. I dont have any plans for Tuesday except going back to my moms that afternoon. The rest of my vacation is dedicated to my mom and my sister. My sister is flying in from Tucson, AZ on Wednesday and she is getting married on Saturday. I dont have any definate plans from Tuesday – Friday but I am sure my mom and I will come up with some fun stuff to do…

My sister told me to calm down and call a manager at Expedia the next day. So I searched on Expedia.com later that night and put in my flight dates that I wanted and times. Turns out I found a roundtrip flight for less than I had already paid for my first round trip ticket. When I saw that I was really upset but I knew exactly what I was gonna do.

The next afternoon I was going to my cousin’s apartment in Knoxville and I was gonna call them while I was there. So after we took a trip to Turkey Creek, did some shopping and ate some Olive Garden I was ready to call when we got back. Well I got on the phone and immediatly asked for a manager. I had to wait on hold for about 20 minutes. When I finally got a manager on the phone I explained my situation and that I had found a cheaper ticket and they ended up giving me a credit on the penalty fee so I only paid just over $100.

So everything has worked out and I will be able to attend my sister’s wedding. All is well with the world…

So my sister is getting married on June 5th, 2010. It just so happens to be the day after I get on a plane and go back to Tennessee. I decided that I was gonna try to go about changing my flight back so that I could be there for my only sister on one of the happiest days of her life.

I called Expedia and they proceeded to tell me that the Flight Protection that I paid $18 for was not valid for my reason so I would have to pay an $150 penalty fee. Okay so my mom offered to pay that so I called back and then they dumped on me that I would have to pay the difference between the two tickets. Okay I didn’t have a problem with that until they told me that my reevaluated price would be $425. I was like WTF?!?!?!?!?! The flight that I looked up was only $61. I was wondering how they got $425 from $61.

So I was told that because I purchased a rountrip ticket that the price had to be reevaluated in a roundtrip price. I think it is downright rediculous to have to pay another $200 when I already paid $213 and I was more than willing to pay the bullshit $150 penalty for changing my flight.

So now I will not be able to attend my sisters wedding and it is tearing me up inside. For the first time in my life I have been able to get along with my sister and actually think of her as a friend. I feel so horrible and sad that I cant be there.

The weather is starting to get warmer and the rain is moving in… Ah the sounds, smells and feel of spring. I think that this may be my new favorite season. All the little birds and small animals are starting to come out of their winter hiding places and the time to put away your winter clothing is almost upon us. With spring comes new beginnings and hopefully a year of prosperity and maybe even love.

I feel like my life is starting to take a turn. I am starting to feel like myself again, like I am finally crawling out of the black hole that my heart was in for so long. I have lost a few bricks from my well built and solid wall and I think this might be the time for me to start the process of letting someone into my life. Now just to find someone to let into my life LOL.

So a few weeks ago my sister moved to Arizona. This is a very exciting and happy time in her life and I really hope that she enjoys it to the fullest possibility that she can. I am very very happy for her and wish only the best in the life that she is only just beginning to build with her fiancee and soon to be husband Keith. I also cant wait to visit her next year

More recently this past week I got a visit from my cousin Cassie and her husband Steve. It was really great to have them visit and I was so happy to see a familiar face. In two more months Cassie will be starting her summer internship in Knoxville and I am so so so so soooooo excited for them to be here for the summer. I am really hoping that Steve will find a job and they can move here.

So this year has gotten off to a good start and I feel that it can only get better from here. Only 2 months and 2 weeks until my Florida vacation WOOT!!

So I rearranged my room yesterday. I’ve been wanting to for a while but I wasn’t exactly sure how I was gonna set it up. I knew I needed more space so I could play my Nintendo Wii. So I just moved all the furniture up against the walls and now I have space in the middle of the room so I can play EA Sports active on the days I dont go to the gym.

that is was about time I posted on here. I would like to try to do more than one post a month. I just need to get back into the swing of a blog and website. I just dont get inspired as much as I used to. I did get inspired recently from the winter weather here in my new home of Maryville, Tennessee. I made a layout of photos I have taken of the snow, the sunset and a couple of pictures of me from my very first snow. I also included a couple of the road signs one from the drive up to Tennessee from Florida and the other from a curve on the street near my house.

I am really enjoying the winter season. The weather is great and so much different than a Florida winter. The cold is no where near as intense and the air is a bit more dry. I do miss some things about Florida winters, like you dont have to worry about crazy people who aren’t careful on the road in the snow, but then again in Florida most people dont know how to drive in the rain LOL. The only thing that sucks about the winter though is I did come down with the flu. I had never had the flu before and it was very intense. I even had to miss a week of work so no one else would get sick.

It’s only 3 months and 27 days until i get to visit Florida. I am so excited to see everyone again because I miss them so much. My best friends and all my neices and nephews are growing up and I am missing alot of that. Sometimes I wonder if I should have made the move but I keep telling myself that this was something I had to do. But the tradeoff is that I actually love where I live. I hated Florida and I am so happy to be away from that home.

FOREVER since I’ve posted on here. Not a whole lot has been going on. I work and then I come home and then I work and then I go to the gym and then I go home. Right now that is my routine. Kinda boring but until I make some friends I guess that’s the way it’s going to be.

I did get my first snow a couple of weeks ago. It was so great and I even built me a tiny little snowman. He lasted longer than the snow on the ground did. We’re supposed to and I am hoping that we got some more snow this weekend. I am also hoping that my friends mom and dad will bring my neices and nephews up here to see it. That would be the best Christmas present I could ever receive.

I want to try to use this blog for more photogrphy and different topics that I want to discuss. Just some things that I have to get off of my chest and off of my mind that I cant normally say or dont have anyone to talk to about.